pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
