Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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