Your face is a jimmy john
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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