I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
