what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
