You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
