dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
