apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
