you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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