And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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