I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
