i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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