...so i touched it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
