Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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