I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
