found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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