So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
