I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize