I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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