So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
