hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
