Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize