he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's blow job season.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
