I just made out with a guy for $7.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
