So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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