i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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