hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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