If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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