I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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