Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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