She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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