have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
