So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
