I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize