so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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