So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
