Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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