Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
