I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
