When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
