True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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