What a fucking waste of an outfit
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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