when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
