Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
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Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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