cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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