so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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