was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize