I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
