you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
