Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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