Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
