I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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