he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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