I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
