How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize