Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize