It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
