are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
