It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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