You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
