Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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