Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
