im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
