whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
