OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
