Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
