I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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