better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize