Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Alive.
So much puke
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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