her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
