can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I smell like Dick and happiness
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
