We got so high we made milksteak
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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