went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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