I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
